News Of The Day

[Lawrence]

Sorry Dev, not me, but I am pretty sure Mikapup drives a Roadmaster.

Mikapup and Lawrence gets in trouble.

'Two hapless robbers in America, Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller, have been arrested with the "worst disguises ever" after trying to hide their faces with permanent marker pen. McNelly, 23, and Miller, 20 were arrested by armed police in Carroll, Iowa, last Friday after witnesses reported seeing two men trying to break into an apartment with fake beards and "masks" scrawled on their faces. Police responding to a call about the attempted burglary later pulled over a car matching the alleged suspects' vehicle. When they stopped their 1994 Buick Roadmaster, bewildered police discovered the drunk hapless pair - nicknamed "dumb and dumber" - complete with makeshift disguises. Police issued-mugshots of the pair show the black ink scribbles on their faces, in what some commentators described as "the worst disguise ever". "We're very skilled investigators and the black faces gave them right away," local police chief Jeff Cayler told CNN. "I have to assume the officers were kind of laughing at the time. I've never heard of colouring your face with a permanent marker" - The Daily Telegraph.

[MikaPup]

[MikaPup]

The real reason Kimi hasn't signed for McLaren - he's still in shock...

[Guy with a Beer]

The 1sr two horses home in the 2009 Melbourne Cup...

Shocking
Crime Scene

I swear they script these things sometimes.

[Dev]

The real reason Kimi hasn't signed for McLaren - he's still in shock...

Shit. What a waste.

[MikaPup]

The 1sr two horses home in the 2009 Melbourne Cup...

Shocking
Crime Scene

I swear they script these things sometimes.

Probably. The money thrown around in horse racing is crazier than in F1.

So, how does one go about shipping a horse anyway? Thoroughbreds have to be the most delicate animals on earth.

[Adam]

Meanwhile... Felipe Massa's return to Brazil brings unexpected joy to some of his distant relatives!

Man appears alive at own funeral
pa.press.net

A Brazilian bricklayer reportedly killed in a car crash shocked his mourning family by showing up alive at his funeral.

Relatives of Ademir Jorge Goncalves, 59, had identified him as the victim of a car crash in Parana state in southern Brazil, police said.

As is customary in Brazil, the funeral was held the following day, which happened to be the holiday of Finados, when Brazilians visit cemeteries to honour the dead.

What family members did not know was that Goncalves had spent the night at a truck stop talking with friends over drinks of a sugarcane liquor known as cachaca, his niece Rosa Sampaio said. He did not get word about his own funeral until it was already happening.

A police spokesman in the town of Santo Antonio da Platina said Goncalves rushed to the funeral to let family members know he was not dead.

"The corpse was badly disfigured, but dressed in similar clothing," said the police spokesman, who talked on condition of anonymity. "People are afraid to look for very long when they identify bodies, and I think that is what happened in this case."

Ms Sampaio said some family members were not sure the body was Goncalves. "My two uncles and I had doubts about the identification," she told O Globo newspaper. "But an aunt and four of his friends identified the body, so what were we to do? We went ahead with the funeral."

The police spokesman confirmed there were doubts: "His mom looked at the body in the casket and thought something was strange. She looked and looked and couldn't believe it was her son. Before long, the walking dead appeared at the funeral. It was a relief."

The body was correctly identified later, the police spokesman said, and has already been buried in another state. He declined to release the actual victim's name.

[Dev]

Moving on...

'A US wildlife officer's decision to bring a 5ft alligator into his daughter's school for a show-and-tell backfired when it escaped. Dave Brady had recently captured the reptile and thought he'd bring it into his daughters class, with its mouth taped shut, in Florida.

'Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Stan Kirkland said it proved a hit with the class: "They were impressed," he said. Things started to go wrong when Mr Brady loaded the alligator back into his truck after the school visit in Panama City Beach.

'"Most people don't think they can jump, but they have an amazing ability to jump," Mr Kirkland said. "They can not only jump, they can run."

'The alligator successfully jumped out of the truck and ran off towards a local pond where it has so far managed to avoid recapture. Mr Kirkland asked people to keep an eye out for the alligator: "It's green, it's 5ft long and it was last seen on the lam," he added' - Ananova.

Shame, because Lawrence wanted to bring along his camels

[Dev]

Lyria gets into trouble...oops

'Normally, station Tannoys convey only depressing news about train delays or security alerts. But there was no mistaking the sounds coming from the speaker at West Ham yesterday evening...and they were nothing to do with the cancellation of the 5.15. They appeared to be a couple in the throws of a passionate encounter, or, as Transport for London put it, "engaging in acts of a sexual nature". Passengers waiting for c2c and District line trains giggled as the sounds continued for several minutes. Receptionist Laura O'Connor, 28, was on a District line train on her way home from Piccadilly Circus. She said: "As the doors opened, I could hear these strange noises coming over the loudspeaker. It dawned on me what it was and I couldn't stop laughing. He was grunting loudly and she sounded like she was having a great time." TfL said the system could have been tampered with or that the sounds were picked up from a neighbouring property' - The Evening Standard.

[Sinister]

Must be one of our old friends

A luckless Indian romeo is suing Lynx after he failed to land a single girlfriend during seven years of using their products. Vaibhav Bedi, 26, is seeking £26,000 from parent company Unilever for the "depression and psychological damage" caused by the lack of any Lynx effect. Court officials in New Delhi have agreed to order forensic laboratory tests on dozens of his half-used Lynx body washes, shampoos, anti-perspirants and hair gels.

'Lynx - marketed as Axe in India - is famous for its saucy ads showing barely clothed women throwing themselves at men. But Bedi says in his court petition: "The company cheated me because in its advertisements, it says women will be attracted to you if you use Axe. "I used it for seven years but no girl came to me." When contacted Unilever declined to comment on the case. But India's leading compensation litigator Ram Jethmalani warned: "There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don't attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I'd suggest that the company settles this issue out of court" - Ananova.

Ronan, the pineapple juice and cricket loving forumer.

[Sinister]

:hihi:

Moving on...

'A US wildlife officer's decision to bring a 5ft alligator into his daughter's school for a show-and-tell backfired when it escaped. Dave Brady had recently captured the reptile and thought he'd bring it into his daughters class, with its mouth taped shut, in Florida.

'Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokesman Stan Kirkland said it proved a hit with the class: "They were impressed," he said. Things started to go wrong when Mr Brady loaded the alligator back into his truck after the school visit in Panama City Beach.

'"Most people don't think they can jump, but they have an amazing ability to jump," Mr Kirkland said. "They can not only jump, they can run."

'The alligator successfully jumped out of the truck and ran off towards a local pond where it has so far managed to avoid recapture. Mr Kirkland asked people to keep an eye out for the alligator: "It's green, it's 5ft long and it was last seen on the lam," he added' - Ananova.

Shame, because Lawrence wanted to bring along his camels

[Dev]

Lawrence considers them the prettiest camels in the world

[Sinister]

Then it's best we don't make fun of his Camels. He can be pretty touchy if we say anything negative about his precious Camels.

[Sinister]

Yet another Mclaren scandal....



http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article6910784.ece


I hope Adam's fingers are okay.

[Adam]

Yet another Mclaren scandal....



http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article6910784.ece


I hope Adam's fingers are okay.

*sigh* That's what you get for choosing style over substance. Just because it says Maclaren on the side... Fortunately my mother is more sensible and keeps me in a rear-facing pram